I love my MA school! I love all the cute newbies and their dinky weights! I love that the new guys come in and assume they can do everything with thirty pound weights and then have to stop halfway through and move to fifteen! I love it! They’re adorable!
That’s right, my chiklits, add 500 calories to your diet, and you, too, Might Just Feel Better and write a blog post full of exclamation marks! Stop it with the self-hate talk! Eat more apples! Feel better! Kick more ass!
I despise the dieting industry. They can eat shit and die.
Starve yourself so you look like an Olsen Twin! Everyone knows that eating less is good for you! Why should we give you calorie counts for *active* women! Women don’t go out and kick ass! Women stay home and hate themselves for having hips!
No, no, eat less, so you’ll have less energy, so you’ll miss workouts, so you’ll feel depressed, so you’ll get a prescription for Prozac, so you’ll have no sex drive, so your SO thinks you don’t find them attractive any more, so you buy all of Dr. Phil’s books, so you can only afford to binge eat at fast food places, so you can hire a lawyer to sue McDonald’s and CNN can write a “news” story about it!
This is America!
Those dirty fuckers can kiss my ass.
I feel great! The world is beautiful! I’ve gotten in jogging days and MA school days, and I feel great! I am bouncing off the walls. The only reason I’m not out running is because if I don’t get at least 8 hours of sleep, I crash and burn. Bad. Must sleep.
But the world is great! I love everyone! I’m going to go jogging tomorrow, and go to class on Saturday! And it will be great!
Why should we give out calorie counts for active women!! Women don’t want to be active! They sit at home and starve, just like good little girls!
Good night, chiklits!