I do not ever want my author bio to read:
“Kameron now lives in (insert small midwestern town name here) with her three cats.”
Call me crazy, but I want more than that. At the same time, I also don’t want it to read:
“Kameron now lives in (insert small midwestern town name here) with her adoring, supportive attorney husband Walter and their three adorable children, Minnie, Mickey, and Mike.”
I think my bio should just say:
“Kameron Hurley subsists primarily on the blood of her enemies and should not be allowed out in direct sunlight. She prefers fucking in Marrakech to boxing in Madrid, but it depends on the time of year. When she’s not shooting up in service to her life-sustaining drug habit, she can still drink small children under the table. She lives with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a substantial number of Chipotle burritos and occasionally sees a boy whose name she can’t remember, but right now she’s probably out at a bar learning French from a one-legged prostitute named Bruno.”
At least it’s more memorable, and has less of the “inevitable boring death” slant to it.
The inevitable death of us all could at least be spiced up a little.