In conversation with somebody here in Dayton, I heard that he’d gone “snowboarding” over the weekend. How odd, I thought. Where the hell does somebody go skiing for a weekend in the middle of Ohio?

You have to understand, I’m from the Pacific Northwest. If we want to go skiing, you know, we drive the two hours to the Mountain. If we want to go to the beach, we drive the two hours to the beach.

This is Dayton, OH. Where the hell do you go skiing?

Well, it turns out, here in Middle America, find a hill and make some snow.

No, seriously.

Um, folks? If you like skiing, move within driving distance of actual mountains. They make snow out here.

They make snow.

I’m sorry, I know I really shouldn’t find this shocking, but fake snow on a bumpy hill in the middle of the midwest, and you call that skiing?

No, no people.

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