1) There are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
2) Social Security will implode tomorrow, even if we don’t steal all that money in order to pay off our war debts. Which we are NOT going to do.
3) The gays are not real Americans, and want to sodomize your children (though how or why the lesbians want to go about this, we’re still unclear on)
4) Abortion isn’t about controlling women, it’s about protecting life, which is why we have such great childcare programs for welfare mothers
5) We are NOT, I repeat, NOT going to war with Iran.
Why is it I feel so cynical?