Trying to wait out the heat, mostly. But stuff is getting done. Slowly.
Went to my gym and cancelled my membership (you have to do it 30 days ahead of time), finally. I start back up at my mixed martial arts school (read: boxing!) in September. While I still have my final 30 days at my gym, I’ll also be getting used to working out outside my house again. Today’s the first time I’ll be back since before I got sick. The heat has finally forced me to exercise out of the house; the gym has air conditioning.
Put some more money in the bank. I’m slowly accruing what I’ll need for the trips I’m taking this year and relocation money next year, should I end up getting a job somewhere else.
Doing a lot of reading, and figured out what’s wrong with God’s War. Now I have to fucking fix it.
Still frustrated about a lot of things, still pretty emotionally drained, but getting better. My sugar’s stabalized, finally. Called my doctor this weekend, and for the first time since I got out of the hospital, he didn’t tell me to call him next week to update my numbers. He said that unless I’m consistently going over 150 or below 80, I should be good. And 90% of my numbers are in that range. It means I’m consistently feeling – physically – near-normal for the first time in a year and a half. It’s been a long road. And it’s still not perfect, but it’s a lot better than it’s been.
There’s still some struggling going on with weight and diet. The doctor wants me to lose weight, and I’d rather not be hungry. I’m already working out five days a week. In any case, I’m cutting back even more where I can, and thinking about substituting some of my whole wheat carb counts for fruit carb counts, just to see if that’ll help me drop some weight. Right now, I suspect a lot of the weight gain is because I was starving for a year, and it’s now leveling off, just like the sugar levels. We’ll see what the scale looks like at my next appointment. I really don’t want to go on any more drugs.
I know things are going to be all right. The health is better, and that’s a good start. When that’s doing all right, I can do everything else.
Now I just need to do everything else…
Why do I always feel like I’m running a race that I started too late and have to complete with a bum leg?
