One of Those Nights

It occurs to me that I don’t handle stress as well as I used to. That, or I was just never in a position where I had to balance so many different aspects of my life – and the lives of others – all at once.

It’s a challenge. I’m up for it, but it’s a challenge.

My sugar has sucked since I started with the new monitor and insulin pens. The pens are fucking great, but for some reason even when I hold the button down for the full ten seconds, there’s still at least half a unit of insulin that I never get, so I’ve had to dose myself one extra unit every time. That, paired with the fact that I’ve switched to an electronic monitor that records my numbers instead of recording them myself, means I don’t view all of my numbers daily. Whoever made the OneTouch software program made it stupid and clunky. It’s so useless at displaying the numbers in a way I find helpful that I just avoid loading numbers for weeks at a time. I have only a vague idea of where I’ve been at, and it hasn’t been all that great. OK, Ok, probably it’s got me running 130-180, which isn’t the end of the world, but it certainly fucking isn’t at those lovely 70-120 numbers that I so adored.

I need to get back on that, and I’m kind of pissed that it looks like what I have to do to kick my ass for that is go back to manually recording all of my numbers so I can SEE exactly how my sugar is trending overall. It’s too easy to just throw out a bad number when you don’t have to look at it three times a day when you enter your other readings into your spreadsheet.

So that’s something I need to balance back in. I was really fucking proud of my 5.9 A1C, and I have a feeling I’m going to be closer to 6.5 or something (under 7 is still good for a t1, but 6 and under is the A1C of a non-diabetic) when I see my endo next month if I don’t get my shit together. We’ll see.

In any case, it’s one of those nights.

But at least I’m not eating Tom.

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